In Memory of…

Karen Lynn Wagner (Foley)

Karen Lynn Wagner (Foley)

Karen Lynn Anne Wagner was born 15 May 1950 in Somerville, New Jersey.  She married Andrew W. Foley on 30 August 1969, in San Francisco, California.  Karen passed away on 9 November 2000 in Vallejo, California.

Karen Foley remembered for lifetime of love, dedication
By Derek Wilson, Times-Herald sports writer

Their lives, almost every moment of them, are right there in boxes full of photos and videos.

Jesse Foley had no idea how much time his mother spent chronicling her family until he and his brothers started excavating. There are videos of Jesse and his younger brothers, Stefan and Brent, photos of them with their father, Andy, and a few family portraits. Karen Foley doesn't always appear in the photos, but she was always there, usually holding the camera.

“She was a great mother. She was a great friend,” Jesse Foley said. “I didn't realize until later on how important that was. She was someone I could share problems with about school, girlfriends, stress, homework. She'd help out with life problems.”

“It was the same role as with wrestling. She was the one that held us together. She was the team captain of our family, and she was still the one that always had the camera and extra film.”

It wasn't until after she died of cancer on Nov. 9, 2000 that the true impact of her presence — and her loss — was felt.

“The wrestling community didn't realize until she passed how many people there are who carry on her legacy,” said Stefan, who is an assistant coach at St. Patrick-St. Vincent High School, his alma mater. “She touched a lot of lives, even in ways I didn't know.”

The annual Karen Foley Memorial girls wrestling tournament in Pittsburg is one of the lasting signs of her influence, that also includes the continued success of the Bay Area Wrestling Association. She and Andy helped found the BAWA and she was critical in getting students involved.

"She'd drive them to tournaments and, me being her son, I'd go along," Stefan said. "She really took care of all the tournament stuff, getting the kids there, setting up, pairing matches, and she was always there with her camera.”

She will be remembered Saturday, May 16 in Sacramento with the California Wrestling Hall of Fame Lifetime Achievement Award. It would be a special present for Karen Foley, whose birthday is the day before. Her family — and extended family — will be there to celebrate her life.

Foley was a nationally ranked — and regarded — pairer and tournament official. Her work took her within a breath of the U.S. Olympic Committee, but she was still rooted in helping the youth at home.

"She was one of those people who had a lot of adopted sons. There are a lot of people in the wrestling community she took under her wings," Stefan said.

Many of the past and current high school wrestlers and wrestling coaches in the Bay Area — including Mike Minahen, St. Pat's Bob Gonzalez, and Hogan's Ric Manibusan — saw their careers take off with Andy and Karen Foley, who were themselves coaches, foster parents, tournament directors and more.

"My dad coached the kids and, for a lot kids, my mom would be a second parent to them," Stefan said. "She would drop anything she was doing for pretty much anyone.”

"She was very soft… delicate."

“And tough. She could be very tough,” Stefan said, right up to the end.

Karen Foley didn't tell her sons about her illness until she was ready to begin chemotherapy treatments, not wanting to worry them. She used the time she had left to do things she wanted to do, including a trip to Alaska with a family friend, one of the few people she trusted with her secret.

"She didn't tell us much. When we found out she was sick, she had already been deemed terminally ill," Stefan said. "It was tough to watch. You see your mom sick and her hair is depleted and thin. She doesn't have the normal hop in her walk. She's lethargic and worn down from the chemo.

"I was mad she didn't tell me, at first. But it would have made it harder to take if I had known."

Karen Foley didn't want her family to have to take care of her. In fact, she never stopped "mothering" her boys.

"I was always the one with the scholarship offers. I did well on the Scholastic Aptitude Test. I got good grades, but I slacked off after high school. She pushed me to do better," said Jesse Foley, who is now a senior engineer for a San Francisco law firm.

"The last time I talked with her, she was still saying I needed to do something better with my life. …I was in the process of getting my certificate and she passed away before I could tell her I passed," he said. "It's unfortunate she didn't get to see that I made it. I wish she could see where I'm at now."